


ocean eyes

by cyarikas



Category: Bleach
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 22:54:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29215248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cyarikas/pseuds/cyarikas
Summary: ‘Cherish the things you have before they’re gone’. She realized it was a lesson she should’ve taken to heart sooner. The days in between visits to these waters stretched more and more and now she was going to hold on as tight as she could. The problem was, as hard as you tried, water would always slip through your fingers. And eventually she’d have to blink.
Relationships: Hitsugaya Toushirou/Kurosaki Karin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 28





	ocean eyes

**Author's Note:**

> the hitsukarin brainrot is strong, sorry not sorry.

She felt like she was floating. Wading in the clearest water in the middle of nowhere, occasionally she’d have to flail her arms to keep herself afloat but she knew she wouldn’t drown. She felt safe. Even the thought of being swallowed by the current wasn’t so bad, these waters weren’t dangerous. Not to her at least. 

The waves welcomed her, and warded off anyone else seen as a threat. They spoke to her, gently tossing her around and telling her so many things, no words needed. An ocean of emotions and she felt like she knew them so well. She wondered if there was anyone else that knew these waves like she did. Suddenly a pit settled in her chest, jealousy. It was selfish but she wanted these waters to herself.

 _‘Cherish the things you have before they’re gone’._ She realized it was a lesson she should’ve taken to heart sooner. The days in between visits to these waters stretched more and more and now she was going to hold on as tight as she could. The problem was, as hard as you tried, water would always slip through your fingers. And eventually she’d have to blink.  
  
“Karin!”  
  
“Wha-” She shook her head and blinked rapidly suddenly starting to see clearly. Toshiro’s brow was set in worry and bewilderment as she now stared back in her own shock. She rested her hand in her lap, now numb from keeping her chin up.  
  
“Have you been listening at all?” Even when he was mildly aggravated and his anger was pointed towards her, his eyes were still beautiful.

“Of course I have.” The conversation was lost and so was she, and she’d never admit it but she was oddly okay with that.  
  
“Oh really?” Now he wore a look of disbelief which made Karin realize that even with every look he’s given her, she’s never seen him cry. “What did I just say?” Would they sparkle? Like marbles? Or would they glass over, like ice?  
  
“Something about Rangiku throwing a party?” The thought of Toshiro being upset enough to cry wasn’t nice, Karin was just interested in his eyes. She’d bet he’d look pretty even when he cried, if he ever cried. This is weird.  
  
“That was ten minutes ago.” 

“..Oh.” Now he was sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose, his eyes closed. Karin was such a bad friend, not listening to him talk and getting lost in his eyes instead. Is that something friends do? Probably not. “I’m sorry, I just-” She needed to stop looking at him otherwise this is just going to get worse. He was waiting for her explanation as to why she was ignoring him, but she couldn’t just tell him she was thinking of how beautiful his eyes were. That’s just embarrassing. “Can you turn around?”  
  
“Excuse me?” 

Shutting her eyes and bowing her head before she could get a glimpse again, she said, “Just, do it please, and continue. I’m listening I promise.” She prayed he hadn’t noticed the heat fill her face.  
  
Maneuvering on a roof wasn’t easy but she heard Toshiro grumble as he turned to sit away from her, to which she turned herself and put her back against his. There, that was better. No more distractions.  
  
“Please continue.” Karin went to hug her legs as she felt him take another breath to let out another sigh.  
  
“You’re so weird.”  
  
“Why thank you.” Their banter was common, she felt like Toshiro was one of the only people that could understand her humor. He could understand her, well maybe not right now. He was right, she _was_ being weird.  
  
“That wasn’t a compliment. Why did you want me to turn around?” Being so close meant they opened up to each other easily, but Karin couldn’t tell him why, not exactly.  
  
“I didn’t want to look at you anymore.” She said trying to brush it off as nonchalance. It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t entirely true.  
  
“Ouch.” She could tell he was only mildly offended when she felt him chuckle against her back. Karin was blunt most of the time, and Toshiro was well aware. They both knew her rudeness was more from a place of love than malice. That’s simply how she showed it, instead of a hug from Karin, expect a love punch, and don’t expect it to be soft.  
  
“Did you want me to lie?” _She_ wanted to lie, come up with an excuse about her back hurting or something. But he would be able to tell, it was infuriating when he called her out. He read her like she was his favorite novel, the thought made her stomach flutter, from annoyance or excitement she couldn’t tell.  
  
“Am I really that ugly?” He pouted, he was goading her but she was used to it. She would never forget the time when he called her cute when she was angry, explaining why he occasionally egged her on. She should’ve been angry but she was too alarmed by the way her stomach was swarmed by butterflies.  
  
“Of course not.” That came out of her mouth much too quickly. 

“Oh so I’m just too handsome.” _Yes._ Resisting the urge to roll her eyes, she huffed instead and rested her chin on her knees.  
  
“Don’t flatter yourself.” His frame shook from his laughter, causing her to shake slightly, the warmth from his back simultaneously relaxing her and making her heart hammer in her chest. She wondered if he could feel it. _God I hope not._

The butterflies started to dissipate from her stomach, a pit taking their place. This didn’t feel right. Acting like things were normal. What was their ‘normal’ anyway? She couldn’t remember. Karin held so tight onto the hope that Toshiro had any kind of feelings for her and that he was just better at hiding it. He’s probably had years of practice. Has he ever had those feelings for anyone? Has he ever been in love? She wanted to know. But she also felt like it wasn’t her business, even though they considered each other best friends. Or maybe she just didn’t want to hear something she didn’t want to.  
  
Why did he have to have such pretty eyes? Why did she have to fall in love with him? Couldn’t her heart choose someone from this world? Someone that didn’t

“Karin, you there?” His voice cut through her thoughts once again, she wanted to kick herself, this wasn’t like her. She raised her head from its perch on her knees, an exasperated sigh escaping her.  
  
“Yeah, I’m sorry.” She said genuinely, because she was. This wasn’t fair to him. Here she was having a mini crisis over her developing feelings that she couldn’t stall because every time she looked at him her heart did somersaults, and it was ridiculous. Maybe it was because the time they spent apart made her miss him so much, and so every moment together needed to be cherished. But was falling in love with your best friend more common than she thought?  
  
Toshiro could’ve poked at her moment of weakness but he was smarter than her, and caught on to the dip in atmosphere. If anyone could tell, it was him. Giving her a small nudge with his head on hers, he caught her attention again, “What’s wrong?” Karin didn’t need to be facing him to know his eyebrows were knit together in worry.  
  
“...Nothing’s wrong. I-” Her mouth was dry, and so were her eyes, for now. “-I guess I’m just out of it today.”

After a moment a long sigh left him and he adjusted to lay his head back on her shoulder looking towards the sky and she let him. Karin felt her heart clench at how much she loved how comfortable he was with her. He trusted her so much, and it’s taken so long to gain it. She didn’t want to lose it. She didn’t want to lose him. She didn’t care if she was being selfish.

“It’s okay Karin. It’s just me.” Her heart was breaking, but she told herself she wasn’t going to cry. Not in front of him.  
  
“That’s the problem.” It was a miracle her voice didn’t crack. It’s him. It’s always gonna be him. And that was the problem. There were so many complications and it was making her head spin. Almost as much as it does when he offers her one of his rare smiles.

He froze on her shoulder, and chanced a sideways glance at her. Even from this angle he could read the frustration on her face. He could only throw guesses at what was making her so upset, he had an inkling but it wasn’t going to be entertained for more than a millisecond. Instead, he sat up and faced her, staring at the back of her crouched figure.

“Have I done something wrong?”  
  
Why did she have to ruin this perfectly good moment with her stupid feelings? She could blame his eyes for what felt like the tenth time, but she needed to be honest with herself, and with him. But part of her wondered when her feelings started its metamorphosis from seeing him as a friend to something more. They weren’t friends who hugged, but suddenly she wanted to. Move on from high fives to holding hands. She knew something was changing when her hands itched to run through his hair.  
  
“No no, you haven’t done anything.” Keeping her head down, she maneuvered to turn and face him but not meeting his gaze which morphed from confusion to concern. Now sitting back on her knees, Karin took in a deep breath and let reality settle in her bones. She couldn’t be wasting what little time they had together with her worries about the future and what they could or couldn’t be. As of right now, they had this moment and she needed to act as if it were their last. You never know.  
  
Toshiro watched her finally lift her head and meet his gaze again, this time her eyes were less cloudy, more clear. He’d never seen Karin so muddled. Again, he could only wonder what made her like this, but he had an idea.  
  
His thoughts came to a screeching halt when she unexpectedly gave him a faint smile and turned her head to watch the sun start to set. His features relaxed as he attempted to take another mental picture that he’d add to his pile that sat in the deep recesses of his heart. He saved them for rainy days, days when he missed her, which came more often than not. This was one that he’d remember easily, she was like a painting. The way the orange pink hues of the sky painted her face, and how the soft breeze ran through her hair and made it dance. This was his new favorite one. But little did he know that she was doing the same as him.

Turning back, she met those oceans again, now softened and staring right back at her. She wanted to take a dive from the highest cliff into them and float there forever. But reality blinked back at her and she decided she wasn’t going to fall asleep tonight with a heavy heart.  
  
Toshiro was teetering on an edge, unsure if he should say something, or let her explain herself. The moment felt like stained glass, so beautiful but incredibly fragile. The last thing he wanted to do was break it.  
  
“Do you have to go soon?” Her voice cut through the breeze and his eyes widened a fraction. The setting sun didn’t remind him of his time left in the Human World, he was a bit distracted. No, not distracted, he wouldn’t consider Karin a distraction. Never.  
  
“Um, yeah. Soon.” The thought made him sad, as it always did when he visited. And with every visit it got harder and harder, but it had to be done. He was grateful he had these moments with her, he only wished he could give her more of them. But if he was honest he wanted them just as much as her, perhaps it was a bit selfish, but he didn’t care. What caught him by surprise was the way her smile hadn’t vanished, even at the mention of him leaving. A tiny miniscule part of him thought that maybe she was happy he was leaving, and for the wrong reasons. But letting that thought dwell wasn’t a good idea. They were closer than that, right?  
  
His ears caught another small sigh before she was inches from his face, having crawled the small space up to him. With Karin’s smile still intact, Toshiro stared straight into her eyes, still as clear as the sky. Yes they were much closer.  
  
“Are you sure I didn’t do anything?” He wasn’t going to go back to the Soul Society without a solid answer, because then his thoughts would fester and he’d have even more trouble getting through the towers of paperwork he knew was waiting for him. Karin scoffed gently, apparently finding his question just a little funny.  
  
“Yes. I’m absolutely sure. But,” Karin let the head cover her cheeks, and took another breath to gather her courage, “I’d like to do something.”  
  
 _Oh?_ Karin was being so cryptic today, Toshiro didn’t entirely mind, but he’d like some clarity at least.

“Okay..” He trusted her, but suddenly his heart was putting thoughts into his head and he knew how dangerous that was. But then again, being a shinigami Captain was a dangerous life to live.  
  
And in seconds he got his answer, with her lips pressed on his so quickly he almost missed it. He didn’t even have time to close his eyes. Instead they stayed open wide in shock, and he was frozen again, his heart hammering in his chest it felt like it might jump out from his ribcage. Part of him was freaking out over his first kiss while the other was asking for a do-over.  
  
Karin pulled back to watch his face grow red, noticing how his blush even reached his ears, appearing redder against his snow white hair. That was new, and adorable. 

Finally catching his breath, he attempted to process what just happened and came to two conclusions. One, he wanted to kiss her again. So he did.  
  
But this time, he promptly grabbed her face and tilted his head so that he could properly feel her lips against his for longer than a millisecond. He felt her moment of surprise melt into comfort as she returned the kiss and held onto his wrists tightly, willing him to stay longer until his lungs started to scream for air.

Yes, that was much better. A proper do-over. Hopefully he’d be able to practice next time he visited. Oh, and his second conclusion.  
  
“So,” He was still out of breath, but he didn’t care, “I _am_ handsome.” Karin rolled her eyes and laughed at his smugness after just kissing her on her rooftop as the sun set. But her heart was still dancing and he wasn’t wrong, so she’d let him have this one. “Is that what had you all distracted?”  
  
Again, he wasn’t entirely wrong, but if she told him she literally got lost in his eyes he wouldn’t let her have the end of it. She didn’t erase the smile that was starting to hurt her cheeks, but still gave him a small love tap to his shoulder, her body still buzzing from the kiss. 

“I’ll tell you next time.”


End file.
